The Piano & her secret story
I am not sure if the reason I feel so deeply sentimental and emotional about particular items from my life that go back so far, is;
a) Because I have lost all of my immediate family tragically one by one
or
b) because I am just a big sensitive softy.
Perhaps both.
One item can connect & weave together significant & poignant threads of our lives
A special story started to unfold recently - triggered by a sudden need to deal with something I own, that has been on long term loan. It gave me a jolt, just how deeply connected I am to its history. What it represents and what vivid and treasured memories it extracted from me, that had laid dormant for some years.
Chapter 1 - I was 6 years old when the story unfolds. I am talking about the Kawai upright piano that has been in my family since 1966. My parents purchased it new, my Mum determined that all her 3 children would learn the piano as she never had that opportunity in her own childhood. We were all made to learn piano by a local lady named Mrs Searle. I can still remember the smell of stew every time I went to her house near my family home in North Balwyn for my lessons. I love music but I hated my piano lessons. However it did teach me the valuable skill of being able to read music, which turned out way down the track to be a huge blessing in a later career. At the time, as a young girl, all I wanted to do was become a ballet dancer. I learned piano for a few years, went on to flute and eventually gave up everything for ballet around age 14.
My Mum tried to teach herself piano, she was learning chords and I still remember coming home from school and hearing her play ‘Sunrise Sunset’ from Fiddler on the Roof. The piano was in a separate area just behind the front door, so I’d hear her playing as I walked up our steep pink concrete driveway. Mum & Dad always nagged us to practise the piano, Dad often exclaiming all the money he paid for the piano lessons! I’m the middle child, so my older brother had learned before me and given up as soon as he was able to. My little sister Robyn started learning as I was giving up I think. Robbie was extremely musical and I remember her sitting at the piano - not so much practising piano but singing, she had a natural voice. She played the lead role of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz in her school musical, after I went to London as a ballet student. I never saw her in it, but my family sent a cassette of the show to me in London. To this day hearing ‘Somewhere over the rainbow’ sung, totally undoes me. Robbie passed away at age 20 - hit by a car riding her bike early in the morning to keep fit.
Chapter 2 - Young adult life. Skipping forward several years to after my time as a ballet student & dancing professionally in London Festival Ballet Company. I returned to live in Australia and ended up in the National Tour of ‘Oklahoma’ dancing and singing for 13 months. In a crazy theatrical romance during that tour, I married an opera singer who was in the show with me. During our time in Melbourne, he would sit and play the piano at my family home and practise his singing. Plus other musicians and singers would come over and sing and play the piano as well. David Hobson had grown up singing with him in Ballarat and I have incredible memories of them singing the Pearl Fishers duet and my dear friend and repetiteur Peter Locke playing.
Chapter 3 - She (the piano) was on the move. My parents moved from our family home in North Balwyn to a gorgeous original terrace house in Powlett St, East Melbourne. Naturally the polished wood Kawai piano and matching stool came too and had pride of place in the formal elegant lounge dining room. My Mum even held soirées there with my friend and colleague Brian Stacey (resident Musical Director at Victoria State Opera and living in a Melbs) & Peter Locke (who stayed with my parents in Melb, Repetiteur for VSO & practised full operas on the piano)
Chapter 4 - Her next move. Tragedy hit our family again in 1990, my Dad was discovered to have a massive brain tumour. After being told he had 2-5 years to live, he died 5 days later post biopsy. My Mum eventually sold East Melbourne and moved close to me in Glen Iris, the Kawai came with her of course. By then I was married for the second time, settled into family life in Glen Iris & had 2 little boys. They loved going to Gran’s house around the corner and playing on the piano.
In the many years prior to my second marriage & having children, I had transitioned from ballet dancer to choreographing and then Stage Managing Opera and Musicals - this was where the reading of music came in handy! Thanks Mum. I had met my 2nd husband during the time I was Stage Managing the original Phantom of the Opera in Melbourne in 1991. My great friend, Brian Stacey was the Musical Director - it was my dream job as a Stage Manager, I lived and breathed my work.
Brian Stacey went on to become Musical Director of Sunset Boulevard in Melbourne. Just 2 days before it was due to open at the Regent Theatre, he died tragically in a motorbike car accident in 1996 - I was pregnant with my second son. I can still picture Stacey (as we called him) sitting at the Kawai playing many a time.
Chapter 5 - Re-housed again - In 2002 my darling Mum was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian cancer. After a long feisty battle with the silent killer, she passed away in Nov 2004. My 10 year marriage was falling apart during this time and we had separated in 2003. I was Executor with my brother of my Mum’s will, the piano was to be mine. By the time I sold her house in Glen Iris and needed to house the piano, my own family home in Glen Iris had been sold and there wasn’t really a place for it in my smaller home in Donvale. My friend (who became my partner for 17 years) and musician on the Stacey Trust Events Committee (the charity I ran for 22 years giving 21 Stacey Awards to emerging Australian Conductors) said it could go to his place. It fitted nicely into the spare room of his St Kilda home. As a promoter for some very talented artists, it was actually used and played by the likes of Lior and several other notable talented musicians during its time there.
Chapter 6 & 7 - When my best friend Kate moved to Southbank, she needed a piano for the vocal coaching room at St John's Church, where she operated her VoiceArt vocal training business and already established choir, Sounds of Southgate, I was happy to loan her the Kawai upright. It was used for some years at St John’s and then sat there thru the long Melbourne lockdowns when everything was closed. Coming out of lockdowns, she moved to Wesley Church and her new Associate pianist needed a piano at her home to practise and coach on. It was moved to Northcote early in 2022. It seemed to be settling into this situation - I was happy it was loved, played and continuing to make music.
Chapter 8 - Dealing with the past. Just a couple of weeks prior to Christmas in Dec 2022, I had a message from my best friend to inform me her associate pianist was moving on and did not require my piano any more. It came out of nowhere, I was not expecting it at all. The emotional crash it caused was mind boggling. I spent a day unable to stop crying, incapable of doing anything. Whats more any off handedness about it’s value or fate, I could not deal with. I reached out to both my sons, now 25 & 28 randomly hoping one might want it, to keep it in our family. As anticipated both had no interest in having it (one is a photographer & BMW car restorer & E30 race driver, the other a Strength & Conditioning Coach & passionate Olympic lifter, Cross Fitter and neither play piano) It needed a new home by Feb 2023 and would not fit in my compact townhouse in Richmond. I decided to just get through Christmas and New Year and come back to sorting out it’s future after that.
On the 12 January, I decided to put the piano up for sale in my Stacey Angels Facebook Group (formed from my years running the Stacey Trust music charity - it still exists to follow our 21 talented winners who are now all over the globe making incredible music in successful conducting careers, thus connected to some fabulous musicians and artists) I also listed it on Facebook Marketplace, a first for me. My heart leapt when someone was interested within the first hour of posting the pics. I had spent quite a bit of time researching its value and series number on the Kawai website. Sadly the same scummy person was simply trying to get my bank details & I ended up blocking 3 different identities. When a 4th message came through I was hesitant and asked him if he was legit, as I’d had several scammers enquire. To my delight, he gave me his name and said I’m a singer song writer - you can look up my Facebook Profile. OMG - I was so excited to find a legit profile, but even more an incredibly passionate and talented young guy, with an album I could access on Spotify he’d released late 2022. I listened to the whole album on a long walk - it was from his own journey with his wife and their now 3 week old newborn. . . I sobbed good tears, it touched me, it was superb, it was real. It was music for my soul.
He wanted to play and check out the piano, he had smart questions to ask about it and said he was super keen. We sorted a time he could go to Northcote several days later. In those few days, I literally prayed he would want it. Sure things have been tight and the $500 would come in handy, but really it was this outcome I wanted so badly. To release this 57 year old piano to go to a home and person who was genuinely creating music, was going to care & appreciate it. To be able to happily say goodbye and let the Kawai go and all that history she represented and held. Before he went to play and see it, we talked on the phone, he was so respectful and sensitive to how I felt about it and was interested in it’s history. My heart just wanted him to have it. 5 days later I knew when he would be there - I waited to hear the outcome in anticipation.
Chapter 9 (final): I had a message saying he was happy to buy it and would have piano removalists collect it the following week. I felt the tension leave my body, my headspace release, the Kawai was going to become Matthew Gilbert’s piano. A few days later, as we now follow eachother on Instagram, I saw her (as he referred to the piano) on Matthews story - in his home - with a little bit of info about who she was & that some amazing people had played her. I had sent him the Stacey Story documentary link that we made in 2016 & suggested he may enjoy watching it when his baby was keeping him awake. There was a subsequent Instagram story posted with a photo of the piano nestled in with a plant trailing over it and looking very much at home. My heart was at peace.
Sharing our stories is a healthy process. I wanted to document this story for myself as much as anything. Everyone has stories to tell and this one connected so much of my life. It was a story with a happy outcome - a situation that hit hard coming out of nowhere, that in many ways helped me to deal more with my past. It helped me to appreciate the memories attached to music, art and theatre in my life and the incredibly talented people I have crossed paths with. Between the intense trauma of losing my immediate family tragically one by one, and my very close friend & colleague, Stace. It also allowed me to let go in a really positive way. Of course selling the actual piano was not ever the hard part - it was re-visiting the vivid long secret history she held for me - from age 6 and the fact that music and movement are my absolute passion in life, apart from my family and close friends.
A new story and chapter begins: I am so grateful Matthew has the Kawai piano now. I won’t look back on her so much, but I will follow his career and music. And that is a welcome and beautiful addition to my life at age 62.
Matthews Gilbert’s Album - ‘Getting over all of it’ is on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, Soundcloud & Bandcamp.
https://linktr.ee/matthewgilbert
Andrea Gaze
2.2.23
